Attitude: Why it may need a makeover

Attitude is necessary. Like Ego–everyone has one, even Mother Teresa had an ego. Psychologists today describe the Ego as a physical entity and as long as you’re alive–you will have one.

But where does it all go wrong? When does sass become a depressive shtick? When does a well-warranted disapproving pout turn into a perma-frown? One day you’re being clever and sarcastic, the next everyone calls you a Negative Nelly.

21 Problems All Cynical People Will Understand

One day you stop believing in Fairy Tales, the next you stop believing in your future and you lose general faith in humanity. You laugh at your dreams or lack-there-of only to realize somewhere along the road–on a more deeper level–you seriously doubt your ambitions, your success, even your competence. And after that it’s a downward cascade to low-self esteem, lack of boundaries and basically you can’t distinguish yourself from the world around you.

If you’re like me, you perceive perpetually happy people as….wrong. You see the glass half empty not because you’re negative but because IT IS HALF EMPTY. And everyone else is a deludanoid.

This can only mean one thing. Attitude intervention!!!

How to Improve Your Attitude!

Add Colour

Cognitive Psychologists describe depression as seeing the world in grey; a boring, dull, indistinguishable bla of grey. But studies have shown a simple thing like adding colour to your clothes and food can actually spice up your life. Kind of like when you wag a dog’s tail and they get happy.

T.L.C (Tender Loving Care) of your Mind

Everything starts in the mind. The new Mindfulness wave isn’t just a fad–it’s a good fad.  Being mindful of the present and separating reality from the narrative in your head can change your life–the words you use, the story of your past, your self-perception. Being aware of what you tell yourself everyday habitually without even realizing is necessary to making any kind of attitude change.  Also, letting go of bad habits like over-thinking, and excluding yourself from compassion is necessary for building up a more positive version of you.

Re-frame, re-fresh, re-boot, re-name…just RE

Psychologists are starting to say something crazy. Wanna know what? STRESS IS GOOD FOR YOU. But only if you can re-frame it in your mind such that it’s a challenge–a Viva-la-Vida adventure, something warriors need to conquer, monsters need to devour, a puzzle fit for Homes, a mystery for the budding sleuth, an injustice for the long-haired freedom-fighter, a quest for the lonely pirate….I dunno, whatever gets you going.  Or re-frame the stressful situation, like at the office, into a comedy; think The Office. Also, crazy? One study found people who are more aware of happiness and the pursuit of happiness are paradoxically more sad. Simply because they’ve been primed to expect a different version of reality other than the one they find themselves in. What would your attitude be like if instead of starting from the finish line, you knew you were starting from the…starting line?

Dumb it down….but in a smart way

Do you remember, long before your first costumer service position–when you still thought there was good in the world? When you naively thought people weren’t the needy, selfish, hot-headed entitled pricks they really are? You were young, some of you were babies and cannot even remember. But that person–once you–wasn’t dumb, per say. Just ignorant. K, BECOME LIKE THIS PERSON AGAIN. Only this time, keep going.  I have met people who are constantly bombarded with unfair rules, restrictions, mean bosses and stuffy professors and guess what keeps them going? Literally nothing. They’re just willingly being dumb. Become dumb in this way….it’ll be the smartest decision ever.

Do this Science Experiment

Wear a shirt with a slightly obscure celebrity on the front to a family affair, a party, or a work function–anything you’re nervous about going to. Do not draw attention to the shirt, act casual.  NOTHING GOING ON HERE, NO, LIKE, SCIENCE EXPERIMENT. Then, a day or a week later, casually ask a random person who also went if they remember which celebrity was on your shirt.  According to Nautilus’ article entitled Why we Can’t Get Over Ourselves–they won’t remember. Because people really solely care about themselves and though you are at the center of your thoughts–you are sadly not the center of everyone else’s. They do not care. You are just another human. People may talk about you and remember you but only as much as it serves them and at the end of the day they have to live their own lives, you know?

People may comment on you or about you, but don’t be fooled by the loving fans or the mean-girl critics. See, according to the laws of Earth, people have to inhabit their OWN bodies and their OWN lives and their OWN thoughts.  Whether they like it or not. I know, sucks right?

Gratitude

So I read a lot of articles (I’m addicted to FlipBoard), I’ve watched a lot of Self-Help YouTube Videos (Am I pathetic? Nahhhhmaybe ), I listen to lots of successful Life ‘Coach’ podcasts, I’ve absorbed basically all of Pinterest’s inspirational quotes and I’ve seen a ton of Oprah.  And what do they all say, time and time again, is the single most important thing to having a better attitude and better life?  GRATITUDE.

Thank you for reading!!

Kara Martina

 

 


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