18 Things Better than a Facebook Like

What I learned a year Without Facebook

One day last year, I decided to delete my Facebook account. And I went a whole year without it, longer even. I re-opened my account as a completely different person. To ensure my new beginnings, I made sure I had only 300 friends, I deleted all my photos and changed my name.

meeeeeFor the record, I love social media I really do. It’s the great equalizer, it’s changed everything in terms of knowledge distribution, marketing, business interface, community, collective consciousness. That ambient awareness though! Constantly buzzing, almost teasing people to find their greater relevance, to display their most surprising facets in a gamble of fame, to build their Empire on the backs of followers, to divulge their inner glory….all from the comfort of their very own home. LOVE IT, seriously the new frontier.

But my year without Facebook taught me many things. For that year I never received validation from the web’s collective conscious so I had a whole list of other, alternative things to give me purpose, to make me feel alive, like I mattered.

And here’s that list, of

18 Things better than a Facebook Like*                         *{PG version}

  1. Long brunches with a close friend. That take up most of the day. Basically eating all day at a restaurant and realizing it’s come of a socially acceptable time to order wine. “We’ve been here all day!”
  2. Doing a good job and knowing you did a good job. Having integrity with your work has intrinsic value, it stands on its own with no liked embellishments necessary. It’s a silent nod to the universe, Yes the idealist in me still exists and yes parts of the universe still respond to it. Maybe you’ve made compromises throughout the years on relationships, your art, your attitude, your work, but when the day comes that you forget about all that and simply kick your job’s ass: it is a good day. You saw, you came, you conquered.                                          
  3. Creating something out of nothing, something good. Having nothing then filling that void with a creation of your own mind: a poem, a story, a post, maybe you painted an ugly piece of furniture, you sketched reality, you designed a pillow, you baked muffins, you thought of a new idea and acted on it. Maybe you just cleaned up your work space.

You called a beautiful order from a useless chaos. Or you changed order into a gorgeous chaos. Either way, you created.

  1. When someone sacrifices their own sanity, past their comfortable boundaries just to meet another in a time of desperation. It’ll mean more than a like on Facebook and it’s much harder and riskier than a like4like.
  2. How making someone laugh in person is harder than with a universal meme and therefore more rewarding.**

**In fact to make it easier I’ve just begun describing and reciting famous memes from the internet (only the simple ones) in conversations. I don’t actually speak from the originality of my mind now, I just depict memes: meme my way through parties. #cheater

  1. A hug that’s too long but in a good way. And after you’re like “OXYTOCIN ROCKS MY WORLD…oh you too loved one.” But the happy hormone really can be credited to your loved one. Studies show oxytocin works best when you actually trust the person whom you shared physical contact. True love’s kiss? That’s real.††

††But interestingly only for men and when their receptors aren’t damaged and they’ve a normal range of testosterone. Conditions gotta be right.

  1. A surprise Like in real life, when people randomly ask “Can we, I dunno, hang out!?” or “Hey let’s get dinner…” Meaning they like you better than their Facebook newsfeed.                  
  2. Finding a kindred spirit. You weren’t even looking and BAM someone starts reflecting your own madness.
  3. Either encouraging someone or being encouraged from a really bad, rock-bottom place where the apathy is a tangible cloud hovering and sinking all who enter a five mile radius. And when you or a friend is in that dark place, it always seems impossible to leave until someone gives a hand, makes you smile, pokes you, impersonates you, relates to you, tells you: you’re not alone.
  4. Laughing with someone while you’re both drunk at nonsensical and unintelligent jokes no one will ever understand the next day. The jokes are just WRONG.**

**zero likes

  1. Telling stories that come to life; the ones that tell you more about a person than any picture. Or when people speak well of you to others.*

*or tell a story about how you tripped on flat ground then pretended you didn’t

  1. When people smile imperceptibly and unintentionally when you enter a room.                                                                                                      
  2. When people call you in a crisis and you’re glad (well not really) but happy they thought of you.
  3. When people celebrate your successes*

*like they celebrate even more than you , they may just be looking for a reason to celebrate.

  1. When friends predict your unmentionable, shameful delusions before you say them out-loud*                                             *mostly because they’ve the same delusions
  1. Keeping something to yourself so as not to over-share it. Have you ever killed something by over-sharing? Example: I one time wrote out a quote, “What the world needs is for you to be alive. What does that mean?” I took a picture of it, instagramed it, facebooked and pinterested it, posted it on Tumblr. And by the time I’d done all that I knew exactly what it meant to be alive. NOT that. It lost its profoundness.

  1. Non-Instagramable Meals. Have you ever eaten something too good even for Instagram? You were too busy enjoying your personal bliss to share its ecstasy and you couldn’t be bothered to take a picture–like a sunrise, the camera could never capture the true joy. Well I have actually. After a sweaty Muay Thai Martial Arts session, followed by a walk through -40 degree Celsius Canadian weather, followed by a brilliantly hot shower I ate THIS: caramel macchiato coffee and mint chocolate ice cream with flax and quinoa seed granola.
  2. Realizing the simple truths of the universe. Not the loud, egotistical and colorful easy-to-share/comprehend/forget posts, but rather the little things no one talks about but yet everyone knows. But do we always realize?
  • How putting anyone on a pedestal also takes them down…it’s just a matter of time.
  • How you can be alone all day even though you were constantly surrounded by people
  • How some people are a walking dead, don’t kid yourself.
  • How maybe the person you’re dating is just with you for convenience, looking for the next best thing
  • How maybe you are too
  • How maybe insomnia is just your greater conscious awakening
  • How awkward moments teach you how to behave in public…but never quite enough
  • How we live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea and we still don’t believe in miracles
  • How no one ever talks about this:

I think this is the most real thing i've ever read

  • but it’s probably the truest things you’ve ever read.

My author name is 12345sixx, you can follow me  here

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