unFifty

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” ~Oscar Wilde

I do not wish them [women] to have power over men; but power over themselves.” ~Mary Wollstonecraft, The Vindication of the Rights of Women

Goodness there are so many spoofs and spins of this Fifty Shades of Grey book, I mean over 100 million copies sold, over 250 million trailer views…

While to some, it may be a “dream” something they’d wish would happen to them, I cannot see it as such. Yes, this mommy-porn, has put my panties in a twist in the worst possible way panties could ever be twisted.  The book’s glamorization pales greatly in comparison to reality. After having worked with women who suffer from domestic abuse, I find it difficult to see the appeal.

I know people who are into BDSM (a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, roleplaying, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics) if you practice it safely in a controlled setting then by all means. Simply have the self-respect to be in control always. Rosie Waterland puts it bluntly in her post, that if you take out the BDSM, what you have is an emotionally abusive relationship. Understand that there is a line and you have the power to draw it.

Always. Why?

Because some women/men are not so lucky as to have claim to that power. Don’t misinterpret me, this is not “gender-hating” post. Far from it actually. Nope. In my view, our culture has taken something viewed in other cultures as a sign of oppression and has made it a sign of sensuality and eroticism.

“I wonder what it is about this set of books that has, excuse my pun, penetrated the global market. Mass appreciation doesn’t always equate to something good. Think of Hitler! But I think, in this case, it must. It simply must. There’s got to be merit in it if so many people agree,” said Jamie Dornan, “There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I’d never choose to do to a woman.”

And what does Dakota Johnson say about it? “my hands and legs were tied, and I was blindfolded, and I was being hit with this bizarre tool. … It was emotionally taxing.”

Here’s the thing though, publicity is still publicity. Negative publicity, positive publicity: it’s all attention and it raises the hype that much more. While these actors are being real about their emotions, part of me wonders if they’re saying these things in a effort to perpetuate the negative spindle that’s been spun and therefore still generate publicity. You have to admit (and obviously so) this “franchise” has gotten a lot of attention and has made E.L.James, and who ever else is behind it, a pretty penny.

 Despite all of that speculation, as I said, it’s not about gender-hating or relationship-hating. It’s about equality and awareness. As Lena Dunham says:

LenaQuote1200-1024x1024

So, this Valentine’s Day  remember: self respect is the greatest (albeit the most difficult) types of love you can give your self and by the same token encourage other women, and men to have it as well. This also means it’s okay, for women to want sex. That is more than okay. Healthy even. It is okay to want to be with someone, as long as your self-respect is intact. And for those of you who are in a relationship, that’s lovely, buy your honey a bouquet of flowers and a book of poetry, then make a trip to the blood donor clinic and give a pint of blood. That pint will make someone else’s Valentine’s Day that much more memorable. If you think about it, it makes sense, right? Blood is red, Valentine’s Day is all about the colour red. Perfect, logical sense.

Actually, go out, watch Fifty Shades of Grey, then donate blood, or donate blood and then watch it, you’ll swoon a more easily. 

Seriously though, all jokes aside and in all honesty, you don’t need a man/woman to “own it” and you don’t need candy to let you know you are loved. You don’t need an author to fantasize things that aren’t truly a fantasy. Truthfully this isn’t innocent, this isn’t Walt Disney’s Cinderella.

You are actually better off dancing on your own for a while. So this video was created and if only my sister and I get a kick out of it coupled with some all-to-true truths and motivation, that’s fine. But I’d like to post it here for you to view and I truly truly hope you finish reading this post with a sense of accomplishment and positivity.

Thank You and Good Morning.


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