Accessorize this

~Another (oh gawd) comment on materialism~

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The only accessory a woman needs is her shit together. And it took me a long time to realize this.  I’m a typical modern woman; I have ADD, ADHD, a couple anxiety complexes and depending on the day, a range of personality disorders.  Accessories are like air to me, the only true extensions to one’s hectic personality, the only true flexible expressions of a changing persona. I’m not sure of many things, but I know this: wherever I am in the world, there are a pair of sunglasses calling my name.  Literally, I could be in Africa, fighting the Ebola crisis and I’d find my way to a side street vendor and be like, “Wow these sunglasses are so me right now!” It’s pathetic, but actually not the tritest of scenarios I can imagine unfortunately.

Inspired by Amy Schumer’s speech, this woman has learned to place her worth in higher attributes, learning to separate her identity from the opinions of people who probably don’t have to fight for their value. She’s more than what she looks like, more than what she wears, more than her accessories.

Amy Schumer's speech on being a woman, having confidence, and dealing with body-image issues.

The truth is, accessories are a habit, like smoking or binge eating. But more like a symptom to an underlining problem, the first stage of escaping yourself. Look I’m all for 5 meter-long scarves, snake skin clutches, blue lipsticks, black fur-lined coats, owning a million hats, designing your own pins, and having reversible blazers. But I think I found the mother accessory, the one that beats out all the others, the trump card, the bambam-erry-one-lookame handbag. And it’s having your shit together.

Person 1: “What are you interested in?”

Person 2: “Nothing. Because I’ve given up on life and therefore perceive all interests as a waste of time.  This hat I’m wearing distracts me from my imminent death in 20 years. YOLO.”

Person 1: “Same here! I haven’t thought about it actually. There’s no time to think, that’s what One Direction says. So yeah.”

Person 2: “Oh I’ve thought about it, it’s just that I’ve failed so much that I’ve actually paradoxically ended up with the same thoughtless outlook on life as you.”

Person 1: “It is a nice hat that you wear.”

Person 2: “And those be nice leggings.”

Girls are conditioned to be fun-loving and frivolous (heaven forbid), commercials teach us that our looks will determine our future (except for you mistresses and models, in which case your looks do), that our style is enough to sustain our interest (I for one have spent several sleepless nights contemplating the dress collection on Freepeople.com). Actually people in general are conditioned to be characterized and over-the-top. It’s what gets us noticed, {insert Miley Cyrus clips}. And again I’m in favor of all this dramatic entourage, these band-wagon trends. But they’re short-lived, in fact that’s the one thing they’re good for. They characterize you for only a moment and hardly pull you through to the next, barley leaving an impression of the last.

Accessories that last longer? Being organized, planning ahead, aiming higher, dreaming a dream, working your ass off, knowing your worth, changing your life.

Accessorize yourself with confidence, real confidence. Not the borrowed kind you can buy on the black market beside half priced fake Prada bags. Taking care of yourself and propelling yourself forward are the only things that can give you a necessary script, one every character needs. Know your story and stick to it.  Everything else is just a fleeting boa or a shiny aviator lens, which definitely rock, just with a nicely bundled dream, a durable leather self-worth slung across your back.

DaiMeng Martina


One thought on “Accessorize this

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